10.19.2006

insomia: blessing or curse?

i first learned the word insomnia while reading a nancy drew mystery in 3rd or 4th grade. in-som-nia. i loved to say it. think it. and wish for it to happen to me. it seemed like a super power, and i would imagine all the ways that i would use an additional 8 or 10 hours of awake time that i felt cursed to be denied given my penchant to sleep anywhere, at any moment, for copious amounts of time.

all that changed recently, and my wish, in all its perversity, has been granted. i can't sleep. i, who slept through birthday party sleepovers, final exams, and many a horrendous-sounding alarm clock buzzer, find myself unable to get a decent night's sleep, awakened while i'm already asleep by the supremely irksome plink-plonk of raindrops made of lead clanging down on my window a/c unit, and - horror of horrors - having the worst time trying to fall asleep in the first place! the other wicked truth: i can't drink caffeine after 9.

true, this probably has some connection to my recent bout of in-som-nia, but it's a side effect of aging about which there is nothing graceful. even up until two and half years ago, knee... err, eye-deep in dissertation chapters and revisions and edits, i could consume a venti double latte and be sound asleep within the hour. (how) could so much change so soon? so quickly? and how, in our youth, are we so unaware - or, at the very least, unappreciative of how quickly the little things we hold dear about who we are can change, nay, vanish...?

ok, this is all a bit dramatic, but i haven't come to the worst part yet. yes, there's more...

now, i've always known that very, very late and very, very, early times of the day are my most productive times, creative times, churn-out-writing times. but on the journey to those precious few times, i have, in the recent past, whilst researching (ahem...) the latest trends and phenomena in the evolving, shifting landscape of television, fallen victim to the evil, wicked ploy of abc to get suckers like me hooked on their television programs simply by making episodes of several shows available via free stream, at any internet accessible location, at any time.

tonight's double feature: ugly betty. chock full of "that life isn't for us, betty" (betty, is a young woman of mexican background living in queens, ny, who gets schooled by her older sister, but who persists in the high fashion, manhattan world where she works), and "if i have to - do i? - i'll change to fit in because this (running a magazine, albeit maybe not a fashion mag akin to vogue) is my dream!", this show approaches the border of cliche, but is addictive because of america ferrera's portrayal of the title character. at the risk of sounding too much like a television review, i'll also add that alan dale is on the show. i did love his portrayal of caleb nichol on the o.c., during which he was always and delighfully icy-cool.

so there you have it: insomnia, betrayal of caffeine, online tv victim, and chocolate's revenge in the form of a facial blemish complete today's personal reflection on "adult-escence"...

2 comments:

Sarah said...

two words: valerian root. natural herbal sleep remedy goodness.

Marc Lamont Hill said...

"knee... err, eye-deep in dissertation chapters and revisions and edits, i could consume a venti double latte and be sound asleep within the hour."

truer words have never been spoken